As a (mostly) life-long teacher/trainer/facilitator who began life as a shy and reclusive individual, I here force myself to write
publicly once again (after a year or so behind proprietary web sites). While much of my public writing emphasis is as a teacher, here it is me, to keep me fresh, to force myself to write as I do my students. Informal, low-stakes writing helps one develop the mind, improving critical thinking, loosens one up a bit and helps release some frustration. That is my hope, at least.
Currently an adjunct writing professor in Florida, finishing one degree and looking forward to the next one (I guess), my life has indeed been one of confusing, discovery, education (self/educating others) and a bit of exhaustion as well. During breaks (a few weeks off from teaching, thanks to the winter holidays), I find myself questioning my professional direction and purpose. After thirteen years in the corporate training world, it was time for a change. I knew it was coming, but it still took me by surprise when I was ejected due to budgetary concerns. I experienced shock, followed by restlessness followed by relief followed by a lack of direction, and ultimately decided to get another advanced degree that allowed me to return to my undergraduate focus of English. Another five years have passed, the graduate degree will be final in the spring, and I will again look for a more secure, full-time position. I have been here before and will most likely return to this spot once again, but it continues to be unsettling and confusing for me.
I tire of venting. My purpose here is not to simply rehash the past, but to look forward to a future that will be a combination of what I have already accomplished, along with a few new experiences that I hope will to surprise myself and others. I hope to purposefully take advantage of this brief mental reprieve, use it to recharge a bit and come out in the new year refreshed with a renewed optimism and enthusiasm for what I do. I do not wish to change my life drastically (I enjoy what I do, but the lack of a secure financial future scares me a bit) until...until what? I don't see the next step clearly yet, and that too is unsettling.